Saturday, July 31, 2010

maury povich and jerry springer here i come!

Today i met Brent for a quick breakfast - he was on his way back home and had a bit of time to meet me. Wish it was longer! He called me last night while I was in West Haven watching Jarett- I didn't realize he was only going to be here for a tiny bit or I would have stayed home to meet him.

Anyway, breakfast at Denny's in Southington. HMMM should have been routine- NOT! today was awesome in those crazy kind of what the hell just happened kind of ways! First, i got to see some older pictures of him where I can see a family resemblence. Especially with him and Tony. His high school picture is so cool. I see my son in his face. Amazing!

Also, I got to hear some family history. I'm craving this like you can't believe. I haven't know much about my roots so of course this interests me.

Lastly, well this is the kicker. Maury Povich has nothing on us! We went to our cars and did our cheek swab DNA tests in the Denny's parking lot. Yup, I know - nuts. It was, but it was also kinda awesome too. I mailed them off today. Should have results in about 10 days or less. How cool is that? Just hope it works ok. We weren't supposed to eat or drink for an hour before. Of course we did but we still took the test and sent it off. I pray it works.

that's it for now!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

a wonderful and joyous day!

Today was a day filled with joy as Tony and I became Auntie Jodi and Uncle Tony! we are so excited to have a beautiful 7 lb newphew. It is amazing how much love you can feel for a little person! I think loving Deb and Tom so much has multiplied this joy for me.

Before I found my sisters Heather and Jesi, there was my sister Debbie. She and I became fast friends and quickly she became the sister I never had. She has been my confidante, partner in crime and best friend for as many years now as I can remember. I am so thrilled for her that she now can feel the love of being a mother- and for me that I can enjoy being the doting auntie (I do owe her about 100,000 hours of babysitting!!!)

July has been a month of overwhelming emotions for me. It has made me feel closer to my own immediate family. My husband has been a rock for me, as he always is, as he has helped me through my fears of the unknown. Friends have been a support and encouragment. I am blessed!

I received an email that Brent will be back by this weekend on his way to GA. I find myself excited to know this man that completes half my DNA. Speaking of DNA- i will be taking a DNA test with Brent just to make us both feel better. We will send our cheek swabbed samples in the mail to the lab, and recieve emailed results 5 business days after they are received. How totally cool is that???

tomorrow is the day I meet my adorable newphew and Godson. Life is good tonight....

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

another tough talk

So, last night i made the hard call to my birth mother, to let her know I had met my biological father. I'd meaning to call her for days, really for weeks. Why didn't I call her? I'm not sure. I guess even though I know its my right to know him , i somehow didn't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel like meeting her wasn't enought.

Funny enough, these are the same emotions I went through back in the fall of 1997 when I first made the call to Pat (my birthmother). I wanted to call her, wanted to know her but didn't want to make my mom and dad upset (they weren't fyi). So, the tense call to Pat was worse because I didn't talk to my parents until after the call. History repeated itself 13 years later when I told Pat I met Brent.

Pat was quite understanding and receptive to the fact that I contacted him and met with him. She said the same exact thing my parents said earlier regarding me meeting her. They anticipated it and expected it early.

She told me Brent's name back in 1999 when we first spoke of him. She didn't say much, I didn't ask much. I never wanted her to feel the pain again that she must have felt giving me up. I mulled over Brent's name for 11 years. I wrote him mulitple letters, some are still stored in this computer that I type on. What made me contact him? Fate i think- coincidence others would say. One of my patients told me of her harrowing attempts to open her SC adoption records. She will have to hire a lawyer to petition court. I had the info at my fingertips , thanks to facebook. so cliche' i know, but facebook found my birthfather for me....

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

First post...

So... I'll make a go of this blogging. I started thinking about all kinds of things since i started organizing this blog. What DO i want to write under the about me section? What's important? It always comes back to the same things. My family. My crazy, interesting , ever changing family dynamics.

Its easy to say I'm a mother and a wife. I am certainly those things first and foremost. But, I'm a daughter to a mom and dad that couldn't have children- I'm also a daughter to a mother who couldn't keep her child. Now, i'm learning - I'm a daughter to a man who didn't know I existed for 37 years! So- in realty, i guess the about me section isn't big enough to hold all the labels I have!!

Life has been interesting lately. I decided after 13 years of knowing my biological father's name to contact him. I knew he didn't know i existed. I also was pretty sure my chances of connecting with him would be slim. I found him on facebook and emailed him. I'm pretty sure i gave him the shock of his lifetime.

Little did I know it was ME that would be shocked. I have been treated with nothing but respect and kindness by this father of mine who is a complete stranger to me. I have not been doubted or treated with suspicion. I contacted him in late June- I met my biological father Thursday July 22nd. That day is forever marked in the calendar of my mind with a big red heart circling the date.

I also learned i have two sisters and a brother- a brother whom he adopted! The universe works in wonderous ways. A man who would have a daughter who he did not know existed, who was then put up for a adoption, then adopts a son to give him a better life! All I can say is "wow!"

And so, this blog will go on about my family. My husband of 16 years, my four sons, two moms, a new dad, a dad in heaven, a brother, and sisters I was not fortunate to know until I was a grown woman. This should be an interesting journey adding branches to my family tree. Actually, perhaps I should have multiple trees!!!!