Wednesday, July 28, 2010

another tough talk

So, last night i made the hard call to my birth mother, to let her know I had met my biological father. I'd meaning to call her for days, really for weeks. Why didn't I call her? I'm not sure. I guess even though I know its my right to know him , i somehow didn't want to hurt her feelings or make her feel like meeting her wasn't enought.

Funny enough, these are the same emotions I went through back in the fall of 1997 when I first made the call to Pat (my birthmother). I wanted to call her, wanted to know her but didn't want to make my mom and dad upset (they weren't fyi). So, the tense call to Pat was worse because I didn't talk to my parents until after the call. History repeated itself 13 years later when I told Pat I met Brent.

Pat was quite understanding and receptive to the fact that I contacted him and met with him. She said the same exact thing my parents said earlier regarding me meeting her. They anticipated it and expected it early.

She told me Brent's name back in 1999 when we first spoke of him. She didn't say much, I didn't ask much. I never wanted her to feel the pain again that she must have felt giving me up. I mulled over Brent's name for 11 years. I wrote him mulitple letters, some are still stored in this computer that I type on. What made me contact him? Fate i think- coincidence others would say. One of my patients told me of her harrowing attempts to open her SC adoption records. She will have to hire a lawyer to petition court. I had the info at my fingertips , thanks to facebook. so cliche' i know, but facebook found my birthfather for me....

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