Sunday, March 6, 2011

March- The month so long ago that changed my life forever..A little about my oldest son Tom

Tommy, just a few months old - 1990

March is a busy month for me.  A joyfully busy month!  First I celebrated my mothers 69th birthday!  Oh how I wish my Dad could be here with her.  I'm thankful for each year we recieve with my mother. The boys have been lucky to have their grandmother be such an integral part of their childhood. 

 Next up is my oldest son Tom's birthday.  It is his 21st birthday!  It is a day which when he was small and life was so challenging I thought would never come!  It is a day of happiness and sorrow all mixed in one for me.  Happiness that Tommy and I made our way through life when life was not easy.  That I as a teenaged mother was able to raise a son that is good, honest and thoughtful.  That he -in addition to being my child- has also been a major catalyst in my life.  It was he who drove me as an 18 year old mom to do well in college and succeed. It was Tommy who first showed me  a mother loves her child more than she expects and she can explain to her child.  It was Tommy who taught his mother so many lessons, as I hope I have now passed on to him.

2010 Tom age 20, me age 37

So, as his 21st birthday approaches next wednesday March 9th, I will remember the first time I held him.  He and I are just 3 weeks shy of being 17 years apart.  That day I first saw my son my teenage years may have been over, but truly my life had just begun.  It was not a road paved of gold that lay ahead, but mixed with bumps and turns and twists.  It was Tom and I growing up together in some ways.  It was difficult, challenging but at the same time rewarding and life altering.  I thank him for that gift that he gave me.

When life was challenging I dreamed of the days when my duties as a mom would diminish.  When days were hard trying to be mommy, wife, daughter, student, employee, and friend, I would think of the days when things would be easier.  Truthfully, things are easier when our children reach adulthood in the some ways.  We no longer have to worry about simple daily  chores such as homework, bathtime, etc.  But I can tell you the worry  never ends!  You still want the best for your child, even when your child is an adult.  The hopes, dreams and fears stay with a mother forever.

Tommy is my first great blessing.  Luckily for me,  some years later I would be additionally blessed with my husband and 3 more sons.  My husband has been a second father for Tom.  He has been there to do all the hard work with me.  To set rules and boundaries and enforce them.  He has been with Tommy since Tommy was 3 years old.  If you ask Tom, I'm sure he cannot remember a time before Tony came into our lives.  We were lucky to find him.  I know this always.

age 6 months
So , this birthday will be bitter sweet to me.  I'm proud of my son.  I can not believe he is 21 years old this month.  It is surreal to me!  I think of myself at his age and our lives could not be more different.  I can honestly tell you the years have gone by far too quickly.  I remember every adult telling me how fast time would fly. You don't believe it until it happens to you.

I am so thankful for my mother and father who did everything they could financially and emotionally for myself and Tom.  If it were not for them and for my dear Aunt Carolyn helping me to take care of Tommy, I would have never made it through college.  I was so lucky to have such a caring family help me to take care of Tom while I was in school or work.   Not just Tom, but my other sons later on also!

Happy 21st Birthday to Tom!! Mom loves you!!

Tommy and I at his high school graduation
Tommy age 19, me age 36 June 2009