Sunday, September 26, 2010

Small things equal large amounts of joy

Small things really matter. I'm learning in this 37th year of my life how very much that is the truth. This has been a year for growing and for change. This is a year of discovery.

I've learned to appreciate the moments of joy I have throughout the day. Little things that make you smile and happy. Maybe its my 13 year old taking the time to speak one on one with me and making me smile. It could be the 5 minutes in the car driving my 15 year old to school - 5 minutes he has to tell me anything he wants while I have his full attention. It could be watching their baseball games and feeling the joy of that good hit, great pitch, or awesome play in the field.

What I'm working on now is extending that gratefulness to more parts of my day. Taking the joy I have in the small things and making it last for hours. Trying to take negativity and throw it out the door (and leave it there!). This is a challenge for me but I'm willing to take the time to work on it. It's easy to get sucked in to the gossip, self pity, or negative thoughts but I plan on fighting them all the way!

A few of those "small things" I've been blessed to experience lately are listed below. What's next? Who knows! I do believe you attract what you put out into the world. I believe in the idea of attraction or Karma. I'm working hard each day to grow and be the best me I can be.

This months happy small things:
  • watching my boys play their favorite sport- baseball.
  • seeing my sons work hard in school and succeeding
  • watching my husbands face radiate with joy while he is on the field with me son.
  • Jarett reading more and liking it!
  • my Dad Brent's email - one line- asking how his girls are and realizing- I'm his girl now too!
  • having a father say i love you again. I miss my dad terribly and hearing this again is a gift from him in Heaven.

Find your small things and revel in them- let them expand into big things. I'm going to try to do the same thing for me!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

♪ Songs and memories attached to them ♪

I love music. I always have. I wish I could sing in tune, but I still sing along with a tune!

Lately I've realized how much music is attached to certain events in my life. Of course being part of a couple, my wedding song is sentimental to me. Ours was the typical 1990's wedding song by All for One "I swear". Sometimes when we dance and Tony sings this to me (after 1, 2 or more drinks ;O) ) I can still shed a tear! As time went by Alan Jackson's "Remember when" became a song I could relate to ( although I like to think we are in life only half way through the song!).

The summer all star team of 2009 that Jarett played with is forever linked in my mind with "I've got a Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas. I can still see their smiling faces when they went with 1 loss all season. That was a summer to remember for those boys - OK for the parents too! And playing guitar when I was younger- the first cool song I learned was the beginning to "smoke on the water" and Poison's "Talk Dirty to Me".

"Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams reminds me of Tony all the time. The verse I love " Still feels like our best times are together, feels like the first touch. Still getting closer baby, can't get close enough. Still holding on , your still number one. I remember the smell of your skin- I remember everything. I remember all your moves. I remember you" Brings me back to Club Mirage 1993 dancing with Tony. Ahhh those were the days of early love!

Whenever I'm with my friend Donna- Josh Groban is on. Its like her husband is letting us know he's there with us. Its really quite comforting in a happy/ sad kind of way.

So I guess i wondered: Do other people attach songs with events like me? I'm sure they do. Its a lovely way to sink back into memories gone by.

Monday, September 6, 2010

*~* When you wish upon a star *~*

This Labor Day weekend was going to be lovely all along. I knew this. Three days off to spend time with Tony and my boys. Sunshine for most of the days too. Saturday evening, after spending time with wonderful friends, I came back to the house and just relaxed! It was great. I went upstairs and checked my phone- which if you know me , I'm usually not ever without. I had a wonderful surpise waiting for me.
I had a text message from Teisha, who is my oldest sister. She wanted to know if I would be interested in her coming down to see me for a visit- tomorrow! I jumped up and down and gave a small scream of happiness. Would I like that??!! Of course!
Now, Teisha and I have had a few long chats on the phone and through email. I KNEW i'd like her when i met her in person, but I can't explain what that meeting was really like. Its truly inexplicable. She came to see me Sunday at noon and I had six hours to spend with her. Those six hours felt like six minutes. She and I have so much in common. From our early teens through our adult lives- very similar experiences.

When she got out of that car, let me tell you, I could see the resemblence between us. All of our conversations about our looks did not prepare me for the fact that side by side I can see it. It is like meeting Heather all over again. Seeing in someones eyes and face that you are family. Unless you have been in my situation I guess this sound kind of ,well- silly. Not ever knowing a blood relative to relate your looks too is odd. When you do meet a close relative of course the natural inclination is to compare yourselves. We both talked about how much we looked like our mothers, but Brent must have some affect on our looks because i saw a lot of me in her. (and consequently, vice versa)
My next adventure will be in October. Iwill be heading down to Georgia to spend a long weekend with Brent and Diana. There I will get to meet my aunt Erdine and her husband Joe. The circle of family is expanding. I love this! As an only child growing up I wished upon a million stars for a sister. The universe does listen sometimes. Now I have four lovely women who share my blood , DNA, and my heart
Above :My oldest sister Teisha and I meeting for the first time September 5th 2010 (age 39)

Above: my youngest sister Heidi and I meeting for the first time. August 15th 2010 (age 27) Above: My sister Heather (age 32)

Above: 1999? Jesika at the top, Heather, My Mom Pat, Me . Jesi(age 35)